


A ghost in the City of Night

by UncreativeSelf



Category: Cyberpunk 2077 (Video Game)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Don't worry, Drama, Established Relationship, Eventual Fluff, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Post Search and Destroy, Spoilers, Suicidal Thoughts, Swearing, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:41:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 20,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28163358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UncreativeSelf/pseuds/UncreativeSelf
Summary: "V’s hand almost automatically slides down into her pocket and quickly flicks out a cigarette from a pack. It’s impressive how good she has gotten at this. She’s been smoking for no longer than two or three weeks and she already handles a pack of cigs with as much finesse as a joytoy handles a corpo after a long workday. Impressive or sad … a matter of perspective."V's condition is getting worse rapidly, on another note the plan she came up with Takemura more than backfired. And while V has managed to get out of all sorts of shitty situations this one starts seeming more and more like a dead-end. Faced with the fact, that she might soon lose her identity V must make all the correct decisions, as long as she has time left.She is used to that, but this time she has something to lose ... something most important to her.
Relationships: Judy Alvarez/Female V
Comments: 54
Kudos: 279





	1. All things come at a price

The wind blowing through her hair … the cold air of the evening on her skin … the sound of some random commercial playing on one of the ad screens behind her. These were the only sensations V took in as she got off her bike … or Jackie’s bike for that matter. It felt like a strangely quiet evening in night city, but … it probably wasn’t. In fact, it was like every other evening … it’s just that everyone is out drinking and partying. Only few stay in their shithole of a district when they don’t have to. One’s gotta escape their life somehow and what better way to do that than letting your brain get overstimulated by all the sounds, lights and other sensations that the nightlife of Night City’s center or Jig-Jig street offers. They didn’t call it Night City for nothing, after all.

V’s hand almost automatically slides down into her pocket and quickly flicks out a cigarette from a pack. It’s impressive how good she has gotten at this. She’s been smoking for no longer than two or three weeks and she already handles a pack of cigs with as much finesse as a joytoy handles a corpo after a long workday. Impressive or sad … a matter of perspective.

She lights the cig and inhales the first smoke. V is fully aware that Judy hates it. Sure, a cig after sex or when celebrating a successful job, that’s something the BD artist can get behind, but V’s newfound tendency to smoke on almost every occasion annoys her as much as it worries her. She said it would overtone her good smell. The blue haired merc wheezes. As if any of her scent would get through the smell of Night City’s smog and it’s ugly stench. A stench that is almost indescribable in its ugliness and can only be found in Night City. 

Smoking … another gift she had received from Johnny besides his constant commenting and bickering about each and everything. She feels like she is turning more and more into him. No … she knows better. Sure, he’s had his part in this, but … he hasn’t overtaken her mind yet. It is still her decision. Had the chip in her brain made the decision it would have been more subtle. No … this was her doing, at least she thinks so. It is strange really … She tries everything in her power to somehow cling onto her life. To somehow get rid of Silverhand in her head, yet here she is slowly destroying her lungs. Sometimes she wishes it would just end … all of it … That cigarettes would have a bad effect on her or something like that. That she would just not wake up the next day. Sure, she’s still got the pills from Misty, but who wants to go out like that? Sad, alone, by swallowing some chemics… Though she wonders how Johnny would act, how angry he would get … if maybe he would finally drop his annoying, all-knowing attitude. At least dying through cigs, without seeing it coming would be better, not by much … but better. Would just be unfortunate.

V finishes her smoke and stamps it out. After that she quickly goes through her short blue hair and walks towards Judy’s apartment. On her way upstairs she puts on her façade. Relaxed posture yet a confident step and a small shit eating grin to top it off. She rings the bell … once- no answer. Twice- still no answer. She’s probably showering or something. A few moments later a familiar voice answers through the door.

“Sorry currently showering … Who’s there?” 100 points for V, the blue haired merc thinks to herself. If only she could predict Johnny this well … on the other hand … it might be better that she can’t.

“Jesus” she answers through the door.  
“What?” comes a confused reply from Judy. By now she has probably figured out its V, which is why she opens the door, wearing nothing but shorts and a shirt that’s slightly oversized. Her hair is still wet, and some water droplets run down her soft skin. “You know … cause I died and resurrected … that kinda stuff.” Judy smirks. “Hmm from what I heard Jesus was living a life … maybe a bit more pious than you, calabacita.”

“Well yeah … outside of Night City. This mess leaves nobody without sin.” As she says that V steps inside and closes the door behind her.  
“However, I think Jesus didn’t have a sexy sidekick like I do…” The shiteating grin on her face widens and she pulls the slightly shorter woman, by her hips, against her body. Judy lets out a soft laugh and raises one eyebrow.  
“That what I am now? A sidekick?” “A sexy sidekick” V adds and leans in kissing the other woman, before she could answer. It takes a bit before they let go off each other’s lips again. These eyes … what V wouldn’t do for them … Seriously she could lose herself in them, easily. Not that, that would be a bad thing, in fact she’d probably like it.

“What wanna stare all day?” the young BD artist asks. “Doesn’t sound like the worst plan…” V replies softly, but then steps away and drops down on one of the seats in the kitchen, letting Judy put on her socks, which have been waiting for her on the couch patiently.  
“How’d it go with the BD you’ve been working on?” the merc asks, but realizes that the long eye contact had allowed the other woman to peak through her façade. Judy simply knows her too well. By now it’s hard to hide anything from her really. Guess all good things come at a price.

“You smoked again…” Judy answers not addressing V’s question at all. The blue haired merc simply nods.  
“What’s wrong? I heard you won the fight against Razor… and by the looks of it Vik already fixed you up again.” the young woman adds and walks over to V, however she doesn’t sit down with her.  
It was true … V had won the fight and a fight it had been. To be honest with herself she had been quite scared before attending. At first, she just planned on not going, but after her most recent relic malfunction and basically spending an eternity somewhere in a run-down motel room, she just had to punch something. Luckily for her Vik had helped her, by pointing out Razor’s vulnerable guts. That in combination with her speed advantage and a willingness to hit as hard as she could, managed to bring the hyper muscled defending champion to his knees.

“Yup … done that …” V let’s out a sigh. “Wasn’t easy, but what ever is …” she looks up into the other woman’s hazel eyes again.  
She knows what’s about to come. This is gonna be a long convo and one of the unpleasant kinds. At first, she thinks about trying to dodge it, since the last thing she wants is for Judy to worry about her, but … in a way she also wants to have this conversation. Pretending in front of her of all people is the worst. Back when she left her corpo life behind V thought she’d be done with that, with pretending, but well … old habits die hard. 

With Judy it had been different though. She had never felt the need to pretend with her. Maybe cause they had met under such tense circumstances. With them trying to find Evelynn emotions were already high and there was no time to putting up an act if that would have even been possible in such a situation. But maybe it is also something in Judy’s nature … something that calms her and makes V feel like she’s in the right place, when she’s with her.  
There is a long silence that lies heavy on the two women. It’s suffocating and so much as to formulate a sentence feels as difficult as moving a mountain. However, the tension is also high, and it feels as if one wrong word could act as a spark in an oil field. Just as Judy is about open her mouth V finally speaks up, deciding this careful approach to choosing words wouldn’t get them anywhere, anyways.

“It’s getting worse Judy … my condition and …” she pauses and moves her glance down to the table, no longer being able to look into her girlfriend’s eyes. “I’m not sure how much time I’ve got left… and … if I …”  
The words are stuck in her throat it’s as if she had forgotten how to speak. Fuck. Why is this so fucking hard? V isn’t the type of woman to get over roamed by feelings easily. Hell a few months back she wouldn’t really have cared much about her condition. Sure, she would have wanted to live, but if one lives in Nightcity one basically already signs a formular that one won’t die naturally. Why did she have to meet Judy now? Why not earlier? It is as if life itself would rub it in her face, that she would have to go so soon.

Before she can think further her hand forms into a fist, and she hits the kitchen board hard. “Fuck!” a bit of blood runs down her partly mechanical hand and she doesn’t need to look over to see the worried look on Judy’s face. “It just isn’t fair …”  
Just as she is about to go with her rant a familiar hand reaches her shoulder and moves over to cup her right cheek. “It never is … but you can’t give up now … You’ve gone through so much shit…” a small smile forms on the green-haired’s lips.

However, V can’t replicate it. It’s looking too dire. With how rapidly her condition is getting worse, with how her and Takemura’s plan went to shit. Fuck Takemura, even died…  
“Look … I-I … I dunno if I want that …” this time she looks at the shorter woman again.

“What’s the point in desperately searching for some way to fix all this? I mean … do you really think I can do it? Shit … I mean … I’m scared … I really don’t want to lose myself and get overwritten by some stupid chip. Hell … the shit I’m sayin might already not be mine… what if I as in V would never have said any of this? What if I would have never even thought of this?”  
If the situation wouldn’t be so dark Judy would have probably made a joke about V being a bit too philosophical for a city as rotten as this, but it isn’t the time for jokes. V is being serious. To Judy V had always been a bit too good for this city. A bit too kind, too understanding … it really is a miracle that she grew up here. Whoever her parents are, they must have done a lot right. Sure, she has her flaws, but she’s still much better than most of the scum in this city. Seeing her this hopeless, this serious is truly devastating.

“V … this is you …” she now cups her other cheek as well and forces the blue-haired woman to look at her. “Look at me.” V does as she is told, and Judy continues.  
“I know you … Trust me I do, and I will notice when you are behaving different, when you are turning into someone you aren’t.” She pauses a bit before continuing. “Besides, we’ve gone through worse and … it’s not like we have another option…”  
She tries her best to hide it, but Judy has already seen it. The way the blue-haired’s eyes darkened, the regret in her eyes, when she heard the last part of the sentence. V knows this topic is a rough one for Judy.

“No! Fuck no … don’t even think about it!” Judy shouts, as she suddenly panics. She lets go of V and takes a few steps back. “Ju- “the mercenary tries to reply, but get’s interrupted.  
“Fuck, you are actually thinking about it! Fuck, fuck, fuck …” the young BD Artist turns around, hands in her hair, messing it up slightly.  
“Fuck you! You are not becoming another Evelynn case … I …” she bites on her lower lip, the pain and panic still clearly visible on her face. She couldn’t lose her too … not like this. Not after everything with Evelynn … not again and not with V. Before she can do anything about it, thoughts of V instead of Evelynn in that bathroom pop into her mind. Arms all cut up and the rather bright red blood running into the bathtub. Her hands start trembling and a few small tears make their way down her cheeks.

“You wouldn’t dare!” the panic can still be heard in her voice, as well as pain, however slowly both get overtaken by anger. Judy knows she shouldn’t react like this and deep down she knows that V has a point, hell she even knows that she is very brave and strong for telling her about all of this, but … she just can’t. Not with what happened with Evelynn … It’s almost as if her anger would act as a defense mechanism. She just doesn’t want this to happen. The thought of V committing suicide, simply isn’t allowed in her mind and she doesn’t want it to be.  
“Tell me I’m wrong!” she almost commands. V had been silently watching. At first, she wanted to calm her down, but thought better of it. Interrupting Judy didn’t seem like the best idea. After taking a deep, shaky breath she answers.  
“Look Jud … I’m talking to you about it, right? This isn’t gonna be like what happened to Ev-“she again can’t finish her sentence. “Tell me I’m wrong! Tell me you won’t flatline yourself!” The hazel eyes in which V would have loved to herself in, just a few minutes ago now are wide open and look wild, almost like the ones of an animal in a corner.

Again, silence and it feels like time itself had stopped. In reality it might only be a small moment but for Judy it felt like an eternity. She was hoping and praying, but nothing would come of it.

“I can’t … I’m sorry …”  
The words cut through the silence like lightning through clouds. Judy takes another step back and hits the wall. Her knees feel weak, but she keeps standing. It is as if her legs are too weak to collapse, as paradoxical as that sounds.

V immediately regrets, even starting this conversation. All thoughts about being honest and upfront with the other woman seem insignificant, when the price for it is to see Judy like this. The imagine gets imprinted in her brain and it’s something she never wants to witness again. Guess all good things come at a price, but this one seems like it’s way too high.  
“Judy I just … I’m scared of turning into someone else and …” The blue haired merc desperately searches for the right words, but how do you explain this to someone? How do you talk about these things? This topic is hard enough and in addition to that V had never been in a comparable relationship. Sure, she has had her fare share of sex and even some relationships with randoms, maybe even people she felt something for, but … not like this.

All of those seem like nothing more than flings in comparison to this. This actually meant something, and V would go through hell and back to stay alive, but … how do that when you don’t even know the direction? The only lead she has is the meeting with that corpo bitch Hanaka and that could also just be a dead end or worse a trap.

Before she can go on, she hears Judy’s voice. This time it’s much quieter and deeper, it also sounds a bit hoarse.  
“And that’s why you give up? The great V, who almost miraculously survives every job. The merc, who would break into Arasaka HQ to steal a chip … who would store that chip in her cortex to keep it safe…” Each word feels like a poisonous needle in V’s back, being reminded of that gig … of Jackie...  
“You’ve done more stupid shit and survived. Just do what you always do and find some way … isn’t that your job …” by now it’s more desperation talking than Judy and her voice almost get’s a shrill tone as she raises it slightly.

This time, however, it’s V who get’s louder. “That’s not fair and you know it … This isn’t just some gig … Fuck there is an engram of some psycho terrorist Rockstar in my head, slowly eating away at my brain, which of fucking course, can’t be removed.” She get’s up from her chair and points at her head, while talking.  
“But not only that … this engram is some fucking high technology shit, that even the best ripperdocs can only guess at. I am sorry princess, that I haven’t found a way to get rid of it, yet. But believe me I’ve tried.”  
Judy’s eyes glance with anger in response and she gets off the wall, suddenly her legs feel normal again and, even if she might be shorter than V she doesn’t look any less willing to talk through this.  
“You’ve fucking survived a heist on the Arasaka tower, even if you’ve been made a scapegoat for the death of Saburo Arasaka in the meantime. How is this any different?” by now she is shouting.  
“I didn’t just survive … Jackie died for that!” Blood pumps through V’s veins like never before, when she had argued with Judy. They’ve never had a fight like this one and in every normal state of mind she would know how much she endangers what she holds most important to her, but the rage makes her blind.

“Yes, he died for you! And you just want to throw that away now?” The BD artist argues, but by now arguing with V was as pointless as trying to remind a politician in night city of his moral responsibility.

“I’m gonna die anyways. The only difference is if I’ll take matters into my own hands or if I’ll let someone else turn me into something, I am not … Just like Evelynn did…” Before she realizes it the last words had slipped her tongue and just as she had spoken them, she wishes they would just return to her. Maybe Judy had gone too far, by bringing up Jackie, but … her mentioning Evelynn and almost praising her decision. A decision, that had made Judy suffer so much…

“Ju-““Out!” Judy immediately walks over and opens the door. Her hands formed into fists, knuckles white. “Get o-out…” The voice of the young BD artist trembles. After a short hesitation V follows her orders. She wants to apologize, but what good would that do now? She had fucked it up. 

After stepping outside, she whispers a soft “Sorry” before the electric door closes behind her.

Mere seconds after she can hear Judy crying through the door...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayyyyyyyy ... that ending sucked ... I know I know. Please believe me when I say that it hurt me as much to write as it hurts you to read it (at least I assume so). Don't worry I'll try to update as soon as possible.
> 
> On another note I'd like to address a few things though. First of all english is not my native language, so ... there will probably be mistakes. I tried to get rid of them with the help of the internet and my brain, but even those (especially the later one) overlook stuff. Also I think my formatting kinda sucks ... I'll work on that. I hope you've still managed to enjoy it, though.  
> If so, please leave a comment. Nothing motivates me more than those also critique is very welcome, since I'm very new to writing and am still trying to improve.
> 
> Also ... Yay I finally convinced myself to upload my first ever fanfiction (chapter...). 🥳🥳🥳  
> Guess that means I've hit the major leagues...


	2. Regrets

A familiar dark haired Rockstar pops up, leaning against one of the streetlamps outside of Judy’s place. His one silver hand holds a cigarette, while the other, normal one, lights it up. The confident, yet lazy and also slightly cocky expression V had seen so often once again covers his face, even if it is partly blocked by his signature sunglasses.  
By now the sun had fully set and the temperature had fallen a bit more. It wasn’t really cold, as it never is in Night City, only the wind feels a little chilly on the mercs skin.

“Look who fucked it up this time … Guess we aren’t that different when it comes to chicks after all.” Johnny Silverhand taunts in his usual deep and slightly coarse voice. The cold light of the lamp shines down on him, reflecting on his silver arm. Perfect … just what V needed.

She twists her neck, as if to get him out of her mind that way and simply ignores him. Johnny truly is the last person the merc wants to deal with right now.  
However, that doesn’t work out too well, as he appears again in front of her, this time sitting on a little wall next to the sidewalk. He puffs on his cigarette and lets the smoke dissipate into the night. “What? Gonna ignore me now?” he asks annoyed and lets out a sigh, as he receives no answer.  
Shortly after he drops off the wall, standing upright, as V continues to simply walk straight, not even looking at him. Johnny takes off his sunglasses and pinches the back of his nose, with two fingers. 

“Great … And what now? How long do you wanna keep your pussy twisted and bitch around? We’ve got more important things to do than worry about than some chick…” his tone being as arrogant and self-righteous as ever.

The anger that V had felt towards Judy and now mostly feels towards herself, is brought back to the surface. Not because the former Rockstar, gone terrorist, annoys her and makes derogatory comments towards her attitude and her decisions. She is more than used to that by now…  
But the way he talks about Judy … the way he addresses her as ‘some chick’ … It makes her furious. As he continues the blue haired woman mostly blurs out what he says … just like background noise … like he’s just another add sign. But her anger still rises to the top.

This was all too much. Everything is fucked up … The gig at the parade, her condition, Takemura’s death … hell even Jackie’s death, which is still on her mind due to her being recently reminded of it. And now this ‘the end justifies the means’ terrorist prick, who fucked everything up himself wants to lecture her?  
“Focus on your meeting with that Arasaka woman … that needs to be your priority. You’ve said it yourself that your condi-“

“Can you shut your goddamn mouth for ONE minute?!” V bursts out. “For fucks sake … can I just have the tiniest bit of time to myself?” Without giving Johnny opportunity or even the time to respond she continues.

“I know you probably won’t understand this, but this was …” no she doesn’t want to think of it as something that is over “… is … it is important to me. I know you probably won’t understand that, cause you fucked everything up in your life. With Rogue and Alt and god knows who else … but we share this body. You can’t just brush over the things most important to me … at least not yet.” By now she realizes that she has been talking out loud, but it felt good. It felt fucking good to at least once show Johnny some borders.

“Shit … you even almost fucked a stripper, while controlling my body. You almost fucked someone using my body, while I am in a relationship. And no Johnny … Judy isn’t just some chick. She is special, at least to me ... Actually, this whole thing she and I have going on, is the most important, incredible and most beautiful thing I have. Compared to this I couldn’t give a flying fuck about some Arasaka woman … she can wait, and you can wait too…”

After that V squints her eyes and puts her hands on her face, massaging it slightly to calm down. “And I fucked it up … why did I have to fuck it up …”  
Johnny had been awfully quiet during her whole rant. Maybe he truly got her point. Afterall, he can, to a certain extent, literally feel what she feels. After letting the blue haired woman breathe for a bit, he finishes his cig and flicks it away.

“You know … maybe instead of making my ears ring you should have saved those words for her.” V rolls her eyes at the lecture, but at least it seems like he recognizes her feelings now. “Maybe she would have gotten your point better…”  
“Eat a dick Johnny …” she responds bluntly.  
“You know I’d say that would be much more up your alley, but after all I’ve seen from you, by now, I know better…”

V rolls her eyes again. Letting some steam off had felt good and, in a way, the last statement from the Rockstar had, at least slightly lightened up the mood. Who would have thought?  
“Alright … you figure your shit out, but don’t take too long … unless you want me to hel-“  
“I’d rather die …”  
“Well, I know … these are the options, should you take too long …”

Having said that Johnny simply disappeared again leaving behind some blue data strings that quickly whisk away, as well. For a moment V thinks about just turning around and talking to Judy again, but … no. She wanted her out and probably needs some time to herself. Besides, she doesn’t want to act too quick. She needs to find the right words next time. The image of Judy reacting to her admission of contemplating suicide still hurts, she never wants to see her like that again.

She flicks out her phone. Oh right … Vik had asked to meet her to celebrate her victory … and while celebrating really isn’t something she feels like doing right now, neither is she in a victorious mood, a bit of advice from him and a cold one sounds like a plan.

Not much later V finds herself at the entrance of the afterlife. Even after having been here so many times she still can’t decide what’s worse the burning smell in her nose, when she is in front of the club or the burning in her eyes coming from the bright neon lights.  
At least on the inside it was, quite nice. She must admit that. Especially the sound system … one surely could have a good time here. However, V has never really been the club type of girl. Bars are much more her thing. Sure, sometimes she has a good time clubbing, especially when there’s live music, but usually she prefers it a bit quieter. Her life is exciting enough on it’s own, no need to spice things up. Luckily the afterlife also has bar, which is also where she finds Vic.

As she sits down next to him a slight smile forms on his lips. “You know if we only sit at the bar, we could have also just gone to Lizzie’s and taken a cabin there …” she comments.  
“If you want your beer to taste like piss...” The ripperdoc replies and takes a sip from his beer, as if to prove a point.  
“Didn’t know you’d be such a snob when it comes to drinks.” Having said that the merc orders a beer herself. It’s a different bartender from Claire tonight, which V decides is a good thing. They didn’t exactly ended things on a good term the last time they met. Just because she didn’t want to fulfill her stupid revenge plan … to be honest with herself … she also really wanted to win that race. It’s who V is … once she’s set her mind on something, she wants to finish it, maybe it’s a remaining trait from her time as a corpo.

If only things would be that simple when it comes to getting rid of the engram in her head … or to making up to Judy. She lets out a small wheeze and smiles as she imagines just coming home to Judy bike in hand.   
‘Hey babe … I’m really sorry about the things I said, but I also still think I have a point. To prove this, I’ll dodge some bullets and win a random race for you, then you’ll understand.’ If things only were that easy…

“An Eddy for your thoughts?” she hears from Vik who pulls her out of her thoughts.  
“Oh, I’m sure you’d rather not hear those …” V answers and takes a sip of her, now arrived, beer.  
“You know … for a woman, who has just beaten Razor you seem awfully composed.” He states and looks her up and down. “You know it isn’t good to keep secrets from your doc … this also applies to ripperdocs, you know?”  
“As my ripperdoc you should also know that I’m a woman who will probably be flatlined real soon.” Her voice get’s a little hoarse, as she addresses that topic again. A bit more beer helps her throat, though and it might loosen her tongue.  
“Well … it’s not like this has changed during the last weeks, yet I’ve seen you in better moods.” He looks closer at V, as if somehow being able to see her real thoughts like this. For a while the woman doesn’t respond, instead focusing on her beer.

“Vik … do you ever feel lost?” she finally asks. There is a silence, during which he contemplates on how to answer.  
“I used to … back in the days when I was still boxing and all that. I mean … I wasn’t bad and won some fight, got some good results and to the outside it might have looked like I’ve had my place, but …” he pauses, as he remembers his boxing days.  
“I didn’t … I was lost, just like so many others in this god forsaken city. Only when I opened my clinic, I found some sense of purpose … a sense of where I belong.” After he takes another sip of his beer, this time a bigger one he continues.  
“I mean … things could surely be better, but … they always can be … at least now I feel like I am someone. Vik … the ripperdoc in the clinic behind Misty’s. Got some people I trust and some I trust less …” He massages his left ear a bit, stroking over his earring, which also functions as a small implant.

V nods in acknowledgement. This sense of belonging, of a home, a place to be. The merc had never know that before in her life. She has never been stable, always on the run. Whether it was chasing the next promotion in her days with Arasaka or making a name for herself with Jackie. It had always been like this. Before the Arasaka heist she had never thought of slowing down and even after … only now that death seems almost inevitable, she overthinks it all.

She came into this city as a nobody, worked herself up only to lose everything and start all over with Jackie, again as a nobody. Like a ghost in this big city of lights, sounds and broken dreams. It’s not like she regrets any of it, after all in a way she also still likes her life as a merc, but meeting Judy had changed so much.  
The risks of what she could lose had increased so much and the thrill to gain feels far inferior to how she feels, when she’s around Judy. When the green-haired tells her about her latest braindance project and the tech behind it.  
Sometimes it feels like she only understands half of it, but the passion in her love’s eyes … it’s so incredible to witness and the day at the lake... V is quite she could never forget that. Even when her whole personality is to be overwritten, she is quite sure this is the last thing she’d remember.  
Learning about Judy’s life, about her past … diving into her emotions, like she dove into the lake with her. It all almost got ruined, by the fact that she nearly drowned, but only to again make room for the beautiful night they then spent together.

As she thinks about this she realizes, just how bad she’s got it for Judy.  
“So, wanna tell me what this is all about? The face and the mood … Don’t tell me you suddenly got all scared of dying.” Viktor smirks. “Or is the friend in your head making trouble again?”  
V offers a weak smile in return. “That too. But yeah … I’m actually scared … not of dying, but of being overwritten by this chip. Sounds pretty awful to me, more than dying that’s for sure.”  
Vik looks into her eyes closely, the smile had faded, replaced by a more serious and searching look. “And you told Judy that?” he asks.  
She nods after finishing her beer. “We had a fight …”

“Would you look at that … and I thought you had won your fights for the day. Guess Razor proved to be quite the simple opponent compared to Judy.” The former boxer smirks a bit as her teases his friend.

“I’ve never been good with relationships Vik … I always thought this, whole settling down thing wasn’t for me. Remember, when I told you about River? When I was over for dinner?”  
After a nod and a small smile from Vik already emerging on his face she continues. “I swear I’ve never felt more out of place…”  
The ripperdoc can’t help but laugh a bit. “I can imagine. The sweet family life in the outskirts of Night City, not something for you?” he asks teasingly. “Didn’t he also ask to date you or something?”   
V buries her face in her hands. “Fuck … don’t remind me. I was so embarrassed … I mean he’s a great guy and all, but … it was so weird. His sis asked who’d think we made a good couple and the two kids raised their arms … I mean … ugh … for a second I thought … 'well guess I’ll end my life living here, better than facing the embarrassment of saying no'.” Vik can’t hold back and starts laughing as he is mentally depicting the awkward situation.

After the laughing wears off V adds. “He took it like a champ though, the rejection I mean.” The former boxer nods. “He’s a good guy … Good for him this was only the second worst rejection story I’ve heard.”

After a short moment of thinking and seeing the delightful smirk on Vik’s face, she realizes what he is talking about.  
“No, no, no … we are not talking about Panam. Look …” before she can continue the ripperdoc is already laughing again. “Fuck you … I haven’t had someone in a long while and … she is very … suggestive in her … movements.”  
“Suggestive in her movements? That’s what it takes for you to decide to try and bang her, while her rival is in the same small house in the middle of a sandstorm, without even knowing anything about her? Hell did you even have a conversation before?”

V groans. “I should have never told you about that …” Slowly catching himself again Viktor responds. “Indeed … in fact you should never tell anyone about that and you should pray Panam doesn’t either.”  
After contemplating for a bit V adds. “You know … there’s more to this …” Vik’s eyes widen, and he seems to be all ears. “Wait … there’s more to this story?”  
“Yeah …” the merc scratches the back of her head. “Forget about your debt to me … It’s all forgotten, just tell me this story. I gotta know this!” the usually so calm ripperdoc, suddenly sounds like an excited child … if his voice wasn’t so deep of course.

“I’ve already paid the debt, you know that.” She answers.  
“The 21.000 Eddies? Sure, but you didn’t think all the other stuff I’ve helped you with and keeping you in check, came for free did you?” he asks.  
“I thought, maybe … since we are friends?” he simply raises his eyebrow in response. “No?” V asks. “No … alright…” she answers for herself.  
“Well … yeah ... ugh … I kinda already flirted with her or I tried to, but … she had also rejected me back then…” Vik burst out laughing. “No way … no way, you pulled that off. Why’d you even try it again?” he asks visibly astonished, by her boldness.

“She was suggestive in her movement!” the blue-haired woman insists.  
Vik simply replies with: “Sure …” but doesn’t address it any further. The high mood slowly calms down and the ripperdoc decides to delve into V’s problems again. He knows something was off, when he saw her sitting down and he also knows, just a few laughs and thinking about old times won’t fix that.  
“Judy and you … it’s serious isn’t, it? You really want this to work out…” he more states than asks. He voice much quieter. To him it was strange. He had never thought someone could actually make V think about settling down, even if he doesn’t know her for that long.

Surely a relationship between Judy and V would be much more exciting and different to a ‘normal’ love story, in which two settle down somewhere quiet and grow old together. Both of them are too hot headed for that. But still … V in a relationship … indeed a strange sight.  
“Vik … I don’t think I’ll make it … to get rid of the chip I mean …” V says quietly. She is almost whispering. With all the music in the background it was hard to figure out in the first place. “I thought about ending it before the worst case happens…”

Surprisingly, Vik doesn’t seem shocked or at least her doesn’t react that way. “What? Not … sad about that idea?” she asks with a weak smile.  
“Don’t talk shit V … Just don’t think pity is what you need … besides I think most people would at least consider that option in your position.” A slight frustration can be heard in his voice, as if this would simply be a technical problem and he couldn’t figure out the solution. In a way it actually is a technical problem.  
“See that’s what Judy doesn’t get …” her voice remains quiet and she lowers her eyes. “It’s different from other suicide cases … I mean let’s be real … I’m backs against the wall. I don’t think there’s any way out of this situation. And if I don’t do it …” her voice trembles slightly and then she pauses. “I don’t even wanna think about that…”  
Vik looks at his friend for a while, before answering. She looks exhausted, it’s hard to look at, yet he does.

“I really don’t think so … you lost hope just like these other poor souls. The circumstances don’t matter.” V raises her head, at first to argue, but it’s too late for that. She has argued enough for today, so she listens, looking at him directly.  
“You have to change your perspective. Sure … you might lose everything, but you also have everything to gain. This is the City of Dreams afterall.”  
V simply raises her eyebrows, not really keen on following his optimistic approach. “Vik … sofar this City has only kicked me in the guts. I mean I-“  
Viktor interrupts her. “You mean like meeting Judy? Your time with Judy?”  
“Well-“  
“Your time with Jackie here? What about River, Panam, Misty and I? Did we kick you in the guts?” he asks, not letting her get a word in.  
“Of course not. But … fuck this isn’t just death that’s on the line … I’ll fucking turn into someone else and I won’t even notice it! This isn’t just dying … it’s about losing me whole fucking identity!” V complains. Now she is arguing, even against better judgement.

“The V I know doesn’t give up. The V I know pulls through, no matter the shit she’s in. No matter how hard a hand she’s dealt.” He states.  
“And what if I can’t anymore? … What if even I have my limits?” V replies, getting louder. “This isn’t just a bad hand … fuck this is as if I’d have to win the lottery three times in a row. It’s impossible.”  
“There is a chance of winning the lottery three times in a row. I mean … hypothetically, not here in Night City. The shit here is rigged.” A soft smile forms on Vik’s lips as he tries to ease the tension. He’s not trying to fight with V after all. He’s trying to help her.

She, however, only rolls her eyes. “Yeah, there is a chance and an even higher chance I’ll lose my fucking whole identity.”  
“Yeah, I get that it would suck if that happens.” ‘An interesting way to put it’ V thinks to herself as she listens. “And what if you would have managed to get rid of the chip, but never tried to, that would suck too, huh?”

The merc bites her lower lip, trying to figure out what he’s trying to get at, but eventually nods in agreement. “Now what would you regret more?”  
‘An easy answer’ V thinks to herself. ‘Obviously trying, since …’ as she tries to think it through her mind drifts off towards the day at the lake. The smile on Judy’s face, when they finally managed to have some time for themselves. To forget about clouds and everything else … A future like that … going diving with Judy again … Not worrying.  
After hesitating for quite a while she responds. “I’m not sure …”

“Good.” Vik smiles.  
“Good. How’s that good?” V asks, slightly confused.  
“Cause, when you’re not sure, you tend to think with your guts and from the way you are talking about and looking at Judy you will make the right decision.” The former boxer explains, giving her a heads up.

“You prick …” V says and can’t help but let out a snort. “I think I should talk to Judy again …” she adds again being more serious.  
“You know, she’s probably sleeping already…” he answers, but V is already up on her feet.  
“My guts tell me to.” She says smirking and Vik can’t help but only roll his eyes.

“Oh, and one more thing …” V says after turning around again. “Thanks … I-I really needed that. I owe you one.”  
“Like driving me home?” He asks, but V is already at the door only replying.  
“My guts tell me I owe it to you later!” and with that she is out of the club. Vik turns towards the bar again and sighs.  
“One Johnny Silverhand for me and the cute looking punk in the corner.”

When V arrives at Judy’s apartment it’s almost 3 am for a second she contemplates not ringing, but no … the blue-haired wants to make things right. She rings the bell … once- no answer. Twice- still no answer.  
“Judy … I know I messed up, look … please just let talk to you. Just … to make things right.” She says through the door. Still no answer. After ringing a third time and still receiving no answer, the merc raises her voice.  
“Judy? Are you in there?” She knocks on the door twice, but still no answers … nothing. Something feels off. Judy isn’t someone who would just shut herself in and not say anything. V honestly was more worried, she would be in a phase of anger and rage by now.  
“Judy?” V asks once more. “I’m coming in now … if you want me to go, just say so…” She waits a few seconds, but still get’s no answer. Something is definitely off.

After quickly tapping in the code, the door opens and inside, nothing. Everything seems normal, just … no Judy. V closes the door behind her and steps inside. She steps on some glass, after walking further inside. Shortly after she spots a broken picture frame on the ground. It depicts Judy and herself at the lake.

V swallows. Did she underestimate the situation? Did Judy leave so quickly? Was she that angry? Maybe she did fuck this up really bad … However, somehow it feels like this is different. This really doesn’t fit Judy, even when she is emotional, she just can’t imagine her acting like that. Maybe she threw the picture frame, but no … The day at the lake means as much to the BD artist as it means to her.  
She then spots a Samurai Jacket on the couch. Judging by size it should belong to V, besides Judy isn’t a big fan of Samurai. V remembers, she has bought it as a joke, a little homage at Johnny. However, somethings off … there’s an oddly arrow drawn on it, pointing at the Samurai logo. Suddenly V’s heart skips a beat, and her eyes widen.

‘Samurai, Japan … The gig at clouds …’ Johnny appears next to her casually leaning against the window. The spot Judy occupied so often.   
“Thinking what I’m thinking?” he asks. She nods in response.

“Tyger Claws…”


	3. Susan Abernathy

It takes a bit for Judy’s eyes to adjust to the bright, cold light coming from the ceiling. The first thing she feels is a throbbing pain on the back of her head, as if someone would use a jackhammer on it.

Slowly she starts taking in her surroundings. She is in a rather small room consisting of white tiles, a bathroom of sorts, but without anything in it. No shower or sink or anything of that sort. It is only, when she tries to get up, that Judy realizes her feet are chained to a thin metal pole, that goes from floor to ceiling.

That is when she remembers.

_The young BD artist is sitting on the couch, a blanket loosely covering her feet. She hadn’t bothered putting anything else on after V had left. The picture frame from the day of the lake in her hands. That had been one of the best experiences she has ever had. She is quite confident she would never forget that no matter what._

_Although, not only for positive reasons. She also remembers how V had lost consciousness under water. Judy had been in the middle of her sentence when she suddenly heard painful groans from the other woman. Before she could fully grasp what was happening V was slowly sinking down into the depth of the church, like the last leaf dropping from a tree in late November. It had fought long and hard not to fall, while many others of its kind already had, only to then finally let go as well._

_It was more or less and instinct in which she had grabbed V. She remembers … how she swam towards the surface. Adrenaline was pumping through her veins, like never before. It was almost as if she herself had been drowning. The relief she had felt when the blue-haired had finally regained consciousness. Indescribable._

_‘Why did it have to be V?’ Judy has often asked herself that question. Why did she have to be the one to get an engram in her head? Why did her job have to be the one that got messed up? Although in a way the engram also saved her. At least from what V has told her, it sounded like she only survived the bullet because of the engram and Dex most likely would have betrayed them anyways._

_‘Why did Evelyn have to take this job?’ she sighs and again the pictures of Evelyn in her bathtub comes to mind. She doesn’t want that to happen again, not with V. It pains her to see that the usually so strong merc seems to get more and more towards her limits._

_It isn’t really a surprise though, most other people in V’s situation would have probably already lost their minds. A small smile hushes over her face when she remembers that, even with all the shit going on in her life, even with all the gigs, jobs, the engram and all … she still would check up on her. Judy herself had told her not to do so and to take her time and rest. ‘There is no place I can better ease off then with you …’ she had said in response._

_And now? Now she had told her to basically fuck off, after she had opened up. Fuck. Judy wants to be angry with her, but she just can’t. It’s also not really anger she’s feeling towards her. It’s more … fear. Fear of losing her._

_Just as she was contemplating to call V the door suddenly rings. She figures that it must be V, who else would ring this late. The door rings again … that woman surely is impatient. She must have come to apologize. As she walks over, she puts the picture back onto the kitchen counter._

_After opening the door, she, however, is greeted not by V, but by two Asian looking guys. Probably Japanese. One very muscular and wearing a tank top, while the other is slimmer, wearing a jacket._

_“You Judy Alvarez?” the second one asks. Judy nods and wants to close the door again but realizes it’s too late. The bigger of the two already stood inside the door and by his looks, he would have no problem holding it open. Fuck. She should have checked before opening. How could she be so stupid? After everything that happened at clouds, she needed to be careful. Much more careful._

_She takes a few steps back. “Here for some braindance or a job offer?” the technician asks carefully, while walking into the back of her apartment.  
She wasn’t stupid, these guys aren’t here to drink tea or for a job offer. Not this late and not without sending any message in the first place. Judging from their Japanese look they probably are Tyger Claws._

_Judy spots V’s samurai jacket … she has to relay a message to her somehow, should she even come back and check on her. No. She couldn’t afford to spend her limited time, by thinking about their fight again._

_The braindance technician grabs a pen from the counter and tries to write the letters TC onto the shirt, covering her actions by acting as if she’d just fold the jacket. With a little luck V would make the connection between Samurai and TC. V would probably get it without the hint, but it would take some time. Time Judy isn’t sure she could afford to give her girlfriend._

_However, before she can even finish the T the bigger of the two thugs grabs her from behind. ‘Fuck …’ she let’s the pen smoothly slide into her sleeve and lifts her hands up._

_“You are coming with us, missy …” he more or less grunts and Judy feels the cold steel of a gun against her back. She swallows but tries to remain calm._

_“Yeah, yeah … no need for that. Let’s try to get this over with, without me catching a bullet, k?” The young woman walks over towards the door into the waiting arms of the other Tyger Claw member._

_Before she reaches him, however, she quickly winds herself out of the grip the taller man, ramming her elbow into his face, the next moment. He groans in pain and stumbles backwards. Judy uses the gained momentum and reaches for his gun, even managing to grab it out of his hands._

_She can't make any other move though, since she feels something hard hitting the back of her head. She drops against the table accidentally pushing the picture down with her.  
The last thing she hears is the glass shattering onto the floor and the Tyger Claw thugs saying something. Although, the actual words, she can’t understand. They are already blurred out to her._

_V had to find her. If she had only managed to finish the T... Maybe that would have helped, but … the way she drew it… it’s basically only a strange line. How can the merc possibly interpret that in a helpful way?_

“I’m telling you, that’s an arrow pointing at the Samurai logo! Of course, it is. That’s exactly something she would come up with…” V reassures.

By now she had searched through the flat for some other clues. The only thing she found were a pen, most likely used on the jacket, it lay on the ground next to the kitchen counter and a tiny bit of blood. She had sent its data to Vik, who had analyzed it.

He figured out that it’s surely not Judy’s, he already had hers in his databank, but couldn’t find anything else out about, who it might belong to.

“Well, I’ll trust your judgement then … Still would you mind telling me why in the world you called me to meet with you here? It’s freaking 4 am. Who even is this woman?” Panam asks.

V had called the Aldecaldos woman, almost immediately after figuring out that Tyger Claws was most likely behind this. They are no joke and there was a reason Arasaka often used them for their dirty work. Brutal, loyal and surprisingly well organized for a street gang, that are their traits. However, their honor code made them slightly more predictable. If only Takemura would still be alive, he’d come in more than handy right now.

But since he is out of the picture V needed another partner and she still had a huge favor to call in from Panam, even if by this point, she likes to believe, the now returned nomad, would help her even without any favors.

“Judy Alvarez … braindance techie. Works with the moxes.” She answers shortly.  
Panam raises her eyebrows. She knows something’s off. V has acted strangely, ever since she arrived. She had never seen the woman be so tense. It seems like she’s really walking on her last nerves.  
“I was more talking about …” Panam stops as she notices V’s worried and absentminded expression. “… nevermind.” She get’s in the driving seat of her car and waits for V to join her, the other woman follows her shortly after throwing the samurai jacket onto the backseat.

“Hey …” The Aldecaldos lays one hand on V’s shoulder to get her attention and only continues after the blue-haired, looks over to her.  
“This will be easy. In and out … just like with Saul. Nothing to worry about.” V doesn’t reply, instead just nods and offers a weak smile. It is quite clear, that she wants to believe that’s true, but can’t.

“Let’s go over the plan again.” The merc says, trying to switch the topic. “If they act, like they usually do, they will bring Judy to their boss first.” She notices Johnny appearing in the seat behind them. He, once more inspects the jacket, though she isn’t sure the purpose is to check on the mark or if he just wants to look at it for old time’s sake.

“Tyger Claws take revenge very personally and will most likely also want to punish personally.” She continues. “Since the lower bridges are closed off tonight, they will have headed north.” V quickly pulls op the nav system.  
“The closest Tyger Claws, controlled area is here. The center is this bar called ‘Chimamire no hinode’. It’s Japanese meaning bloody sunrise.”

After scrolling in on it, she goes on with her explanation. “The building across from this side is under construction. An ideal place for a sniper. We can’t risk hurting Judy, so we have to work precise. I’ll go in alone and try to find her. Once I know where she is you’ll cover our exit.”

Panam starts the engines of the car. “Sounds good. But you’ll have to be careful. We can’t work with communications. They’ll surely jam those.”  
“That’s why I need you to keep a good eye on me.” V answers, her fingers nervously tapping against the door of the car.  
“Don’t I always?” a smirk forms on the dark-haired woman’s lips. With that said she starts driving towards Japantown.

“Quite the plan you’ve come up with V. This woman must be important. Any chance it’s the same Judy you’ve mentioned that one time, the night before the train heist?” she questions. V simply nods.  
Panam was still curious, who could put V in a state of disarray like that. The merc had only rarely talked about her private life with her. A bit about a certain Jackie. An old affiliate of hers and from the sound of it also a good friend. However, he had passed away.

To the Aldecalcos member it had always felt like V was more of a lone wolf. Always on the run, never settling down, but also incredibly resilient, no matter what. Not a life for her. She had tried it for a while, living in Night City and it for sure had it’s perks, but … in the end it was a life too lonely for her. The brunette had already asked V if she would want to join a clan, like hers. She had denied that.  
However, even if V was a lone wolf, she still was incredibly loyal. A quality Panam had come to appreciate very much. She surely is a special one. This is also, why she wonders. What kind of an individual could make V lose her cool, like this. Would she act the same if she was looking for her, instead of this Judy?

Probably ... Still something was different about all this, even if Panam couldn’t point her finger on it just yet. She contemplates asking more about Judy but decides not to. V is already in enough trouble and would do better in focusing on the job at hand.  
The rest of the ride they both remained silent.

By now she has tried everything, but there was no way she’d get rid of these chains. Not without any tools and this room was as empty as it gets. No sharp edge … nothing. At least it had kept her busy for a while. Now she had to just endure the silence. Why did they keep her in here for so long?   
Shouldn’t Tyger Claws just kill her and get it over with?

The silence alone would not be that bad. What really made her suffer was the cold. For some reason, the room had cooled down over the hours. Too bad she had decided against putting on clothes, when she still had the chance. Just as she was about to try and get rid of her chains again, the door suddenly opened.

A tall, dark haired woman enters. She’s wearing black suit pants, high heels, a white shirt and a red suit jacket to top it off. Next to her, two men wearing black suits and sunglasses.  
Judy realizes one thing quite quickly. These aren’t your usual Tyger Claw thugs. Especially the woman has the corpo look written all over her face.

“I hope your ride here wasn’t too bad miss Alvarez.” The woman says formally, completely disregarding the kidnapping and the fact that Judy is literally chained to a pole.  
“Had better ones …” The BD artist answers drily.  
“I can imagine …” the corpo woman takes another step towards her and fixes her suit jacket.

“Let me introduce myself. I’m Susan Abernathy, Director of Special Operations.” She reaches out with her hand but pulls it back after Judy shows no intention of shaking it.  
“You must wonder why we’ve brought you here under these … unfortunate circumstances.” She continues.

“Not really. I’m sure there are quite a lot of people, who could use a hostage in Night City. Also I still have no clue where ‘here’…” she gestures around the room. “actually is.”  
“Hostage? Oh, you must have mistaken me. I am not here to use you as a hostage.” The woman introduced as Abernathy, flicks out a data pad.

“I’m here to offer you a job. Someone with your qualities …” she scrolls down and starts reading some of the stuff off her data pad.   
“Braindance technician … in fact one of the best in the business … quite impressive, considering your age.”

Judy hates the formal approach the woman takes and wonders how deep the stick up her ass might reach. She raises her eyebrows. “That’s it … you want me to cut you a few movies? Embarrassed about watching them, maybe into some dirty stuff the public shall not find out about? You corpo bitches are ridiculous.”

“… not quite …” Abernathy responds. “I am not here for private purposes, this is pure business related. We are currently trying to remodel neural structures. Changing them without directly intervening or operating.”

Judy squints her eyes. It takes a bit to understand what the other woman is explaining, probably because her head still hurts like hell. But quickly she understands.  
“You want to brainwash …” she states rather quiet. With all going on with V Judy was really tired of that topic. “I’m still failing to see why you’d need a Braindance Technician for that.”

“Oh really … no idea?” Abernathy asks a slight smirk has formed on her lips. “Let me enlighten you then. The intervening into the neural structures is no problem anymore. We have already managed to do that, without even damaging the subjects. However, we now need something to implant … memories, subconscious thoughts or whatever you may call them …”

“…that’s why you need someone to create them … Who better than a BD artist, who also has the tech knowledge …” she figures. It makes her sick. V had told her about a job, were something similar happened. The mayoral candidate Jefferson Peralez and his wife have been observed and spied on, apparently. When they were sleeping, their memories got changed and slowly they were being brainwashed.

“And what if I reject the offer?” she asks. Judy is quite sure, they wouldn’t really leave her, that option, after all they already kidnapped her. “Because I won’t do it. No matter what you’ll do to me.”

“We’ll see about that miss Alvarez.” Abernathy replies. One of the agents next to her steps forward and before Judy can really react, not that she could have dodged since she is chained and all that, a syringe is being injected into her left arm.

Her eyes immediately get heavy and she again loses consciousness. The last words she hears are from Abernathy.

“Welcome at Arasaka Judy Alvarez.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heya author here (who else...),  
> quite the mess our dear Judy got into here. Meanwhile V is tense and Panam has no idea what's going on. Johnny's been awfully quiet and every reader is asking: What happened to Vik's date?  
> Some questions need to remain unanswered.
> 
> On another note: Thank you for all the Kudos and the absolute chooms who commented. I cannot stress out, how much joy I feel, when I read a new comment. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter aswell.  
> See you after the next one or in the comment section, whatever you prefer.
> 
> PS: I don't know how much I'll be able to write around christmas, but I'll try my best. Maybe I'll put out a shorter chapter, so you have at least something. And to all of you, who might feel alone or sad in these times, since not everybody can spend christmas with their family (for me it's more a positive, but I understand that some might feel different about this).   
> I wish you all the best and stay strong!  
> Maybe meet with some friends online or just try to treat yourself for a day.   
> But enough with this ... This is a dark themed fanfic and we don't want too much positivity here!


	4. To lose oneself

“You seem tired.” Panam comments eyeing V. They had just arrived at the bar, from here on they would split. V going inside, while Panam covers her from the construction site.

“It’s been a rough night …” V answers plainly. The merc looks over at the bar.

“We can’t waste any more time now.” She states and looks over to the other woman. “Keep an eye on me. And be careful not to hit me or Judy.”

“What? Didn’t I prove myself as a sniper to you?” Panam jokes in response. However, V doesn’t smile. She has barely smiled at all since they met tonight.

“Alright, alright … I’ll be careful. Don’t worry. We’ll get her out of there in no time.” Having said that the Aldecalcos moves over in the direction of the building across from the bar. Before she reaches it, she turns around one last time.

“Oh and … good luck V.” V nods acknowledging her and then moves over to the bar herself.

To say that the other guests inside the bar were wary of her would be an understatement. The atmosphere was straight up hostile, and V could feel the eyes of the other customers on her with each and every step. She walks over to the counter directing her attention to the bartender.

“I’m looking for someone …” V says, keeping her voice down so no one else could listen in. While many were trying to the TV, currently displaying the news, covered their conversation.

“I only serve drinks here.” The Japanese guy behind the bar replies nonchalantly.

“Oh, really? … I’ll tell Wakako Okada that then. ‘Sorry miss. I tried to complete the job, but sadly they only serve drinks in that bar.’” V leans over the counter. “Now, that wouldn’t get you in trouble, would it?”

It, of course, was risky to bring Okada into this one, especially since they hadn’t talked, since the attack on the parade. Probably because Wakako tried to keep her hands clean, who could blame her? If she would be connected to a gig like this, her life would be over before she could say Goro Takemura.  
But V had to take risks. Who knows how much time Judy has left? Time she couldn’t afford to waste, by being cautious, not that cautiousness had ever helped the merc. Her plans usually go to shit. It had been like that, with her job as a corpo, with Jackie and with Takemura as well.

The bartender eyes her up and down, trying to figure out if she is telling the truth or not. Eventually his fear of being punished overtakes him and he nods towards an old door next to the bar.  
“Backroom.”

“Classic.” V replies.  
That went well. She quickly walks over to the door and opens it. She follows a long hallway and eventually opens another door to a small room. Apparently, it had once been a kitchen a few years ago. It is still mostly covered in tiles and there are still some cupboards, as well as other similar things, that remained from its former purpose.

Inside she finds one man, seemingly the head of the bar, sitting behind a desk. The desk, as well as the leather seat he is sitting on lie in such heavy contrast to the rest of the room, that could only be found in Night City. It almost hurts to look at, but … since V had been living in Night City for most of her life, she has gotten used to it.  
A Joytoy sits on his lap, slowly stroking over his chest, not paying any attention to V, who had just entered. On the left side there were 3 other men. The first one being very muscular wearing a white tank top, the second one, smaller wearing a Tyger Claws jacket and a third tattooed man, who looked a bit older than the other two.  
V quickly looks to the right. Outside the window she spots the house, currently under construction. Panam should have a very good field of fire and the 3 men basically lined up for her.

“I’m looking for someone …” V says, not wanting to waste any time. Every minute she saves could be important for Judy.  
The guy sitting behind the desk looks up.  
“Aren’t we all?” As he sees V’s serious look, he however, quickly signals the joytoy to leave. She follows his instructions and disappears through the door V had come in.

“Woman, slightly shorter than myself. Green hair fading into pink. Name’s Judy Alvarez.” V tells him, getting straight to the point. “I know you’ve got her.”

The leader of the bar doesn’t even flinch. “Sorry, but no idea, what you are talking about.” He then quickly waves with his hand and the three men get closer to V, seemingly instructed to throw her out.  
Before they get close V draws her pistol, aiming it at the man behind the desk. 

“Quit bullshitting me. I know she’s here.” Normally the merc would have at least doubted her judgement, after all she doesn’t know if Judy truly is here, but the way the other man didn’t flinch. How his expression didn’t change, the slightest. That wasn’t natural. It was trained and he’d only use it to hide something.

The leader starts laughing. “And what do you think that will do? Did you forget how to count?” The other thugs immediately draw their weapons as well.

V raises her left hand slightly, while holding the man in the leather seat at gunpoint. There is a short sound of glass shattering and the tattooed man stumbles back, hitting the wall. He then slides down, leaving a trail of blood on the white tiles, a hole in his forehead.  
Before the Tyger Claws can fully grasp what happened two more shots get fired. One hitting the muscular one in the leg and the third piercing right through the jacket of the shorter man, into his stomach.

“Count again …” V simply says, not flinching, not even looking at the three thugs that just got shot. Instead, she takes another step forward and presses her pistol right against the leader’s neck.  
By now the façade of the Japanese man behind the desk has fallen. His eyes have widened, and he slowly raises his hands. He still desperately tries to hide his fear, but the cold steel against his neck is difficult to ignore.  
To V it was clear, that he was rather new in his position. He had enjoyed his promotion ordered joytoys and for a while forgotten what kind of city he’s living in.  
In Night City a promotion means nothing. Afterall a bigger paycheck doesn’t help one survive a bullet and that’s what this City is all about … survival.

“I’ll ask again … Where is she?” V still remains rather calm, but her eyes betray her. The rage and anger shines through them. It was mostly targeted towards herself, she had started the argument with Judy, she had went too far … only because of that the Tyger Claws even managed to get her.  
Because she hadn’t been there for Judy, when she needed her.

The leader of the bar doesn’t know that though. To him it felt like staring into the eyes of an angry demon, taken control of a human body. The fury in her eyes was unmatched, by anything he had seen.

“I-I dunno … We only had the job to capture her and-“he stutters, once again swallowing hard, as V presses the pistol further against his neck.

“AND?” The merc presses on aggressively.

“Please! I don’t know anything! There was just this woman … she had given us the job. She paid a lot … no questions asked. She picked her up about one and a half hours ago.” He stresses.  
In response the blue-haired woman forms a fist, with the hand not holding the gun and lets it collide with his face. He let’s out a cry in pain. His nose surely is broken, and blood runs down onto his lips.

“FUCK! I SWEAR I DON’T KNOW ANYTHING!” He shouts, by now his fear was written all over his face.  
“W-we put her into a white V-van … if that helps …”

Suddenly Johnny appears behind the leader, lazily leaning against a wall.  
“He doesn’t know anything else. Look at him … he is completely incompetent. It’s written all over his face he is new.”

V knows he is correct and that frustrates her even more. The one time she would wish someone with a brain would face her, someone who wouldn’t just do jobs without doing any research at all.

Johnny looks over to the muscular man, who’s leg has been shot. He had been grunting deeply for the, whole time. A strong contrast to the man in the jacket, who is desperately holding on to his stomach wound and let out higher pitched hisses.  
The man in the tank top, reaches for his gun on the ground and Johnny comments. “Look who’s up for a second round.”

Before he could pull the trigger though, there was another shot fired by Panam with the result of killing him.

V being frustrated with not getting any valuable information out of the leader and even worse, knowing he simply doesn’t possess any hits him once more, this time with the back of her pistol. He falls back into his chair, seemingly unconscious.

“FUCK!” the merc shouts and harshly kicks against the desk. For a bit she thinks about simply killing the unconscious man. It wouldn’t bring Judy back and probably wouldn’t ease her pain, she knows revenge rarely does that. It only eats at one even more.  
Besides … it wasn’t only his fault. All of this has been her doing. She could have prevented this.

She, however, get’s pulled out of her thoughts, by a weak voice. “P-please … I-“the last man remaining is still holding his stomach wound, desperately trying to stop the bleeding.  
“I-I can help you …” his voice is rough and coarse. “I know who took her…”

Having said that he immediately had the attention of V, who quickly walked over to him. She then squats down next to and grabs him by the collar. He lets out a grunt in response, clearly in pain whenever he is being moved around.

“Just … Just g-get me help … trauma team or something.” He says weakly. “Fuck … that sniper is a motherfucker!” he says louder in an attempt to fight the pain.

“Tell me what you know, and I might consider it.” V replies coolly. A spark of hope ignites within her, but none of it shows on her face.

“W-we … me and Chao…” he looks over to his side, where the dead man in the tank top is lying. “We brought her to the van … I saw the driver …”

“And?” V asks impatient as he takes his time to breathe and gather his words.

“I-I’m sure he was an Arasaka … he had their uniform and … FUCK!” he again stops as the pain seems to overtake him.

“TALK ALREADY!” the merc shouts, the hope in her eyes, now slightly visible. On the other hand, she is still much more fueled by anger and fury.

“He was calling someone … he s-said something about special operations … I did a few jobs for Arasaka … special ops isn’t located in the main tower.” He coughs a bit of blood but seeing V’s impatience he quickly continues.  
“They are in Watson … disguised as a factory. Coast … next to the oil fields.” After coughing again, he looks up at V. “Please …” he begs. “It was just a job … I didn’t know …”

Before he continues with his begging and his sob story, she already calls trauma team. “They will take a while … I wouldn’t get my hopes up, but maybe you’ll live.”

The injured breathes out in relief. “Thank you … Arg … Fuck!” Apparently, he accidentally moved too much in his joy. V simply turns away, making her way to the door, however, she suddenly stops and looks at the Japanese again.

“One more thing … could you tell me, who kidnapped her?” she asks without any hint of emotion in her tone.

“Sure … it was me and … Chan o-over there …” he answers truthfully. He realized his mistake too late and before he could say something else V had kicked right onto his wound.

He screams out in pain arches forward. “FUCK, FUCK, FUCK … YOU BITCH!” he cries “I hope you’ll die the most painful of all deaths!”  
V has no time to further address him and simply leaves him to his demise. 

On her way out, the guests of the bar look at her in fear. They must’ve heard the screams. Apparently, their loyalty went as far to still remain at the bar, yet not deep enough to help the other Tyger Claws.  
The most painful of all deaths … Getting one’s personality overwritten could count as that. But that’s not what she cares about now. All that matters is Judy.

Just as she reaches the front door a warning pops up in front of her eyes. Suddenly whenever she takes a breath, it feels as if she breathes in a thousand little needles, that cut her lungs from the inside. Next, she starts coughing and sees blood spilling onto her hand.  
Her vision becomes blurry and short seconds of blackouts set in.

Somehow, she still manages to get to the house wall across the street and leans against it. Johnny appears next to her.  
“The attacks are more frequent. You have to finish this already … we’ve got not much time left.” He comments.

“Oh really?” she answers ironically and coughs a bit. “You are a real help Johnny … Would have never gotten that idea. Thanks a lot.”

He rolls his eyes. “So Arasaka, huh? Doesn’t look good for your little girlfriend.”

V spits some more blood out and then answers. “You know … I get why you hate them so much …”

The next time Judy awakes everything is different. Her surrounding is dark, except for green shining lights. The lights are located in clusters, that almost look like … a labyrinth. Except they also don’t. They are transparent in a way.

Before her a person emerges. She isn’t a real person, though … she is red and only outlined. As Judy looks down, she realizes her own body is also only outlined.  
“Welcome Judy … this will be your workspace from now on.” The person says and by her voice it becomes clear, that it’s Abernathy speaking.  
The BD artist quickly puts two and two together. She is in Cyberspace, but … where is her body?

“Do not worry … your body is safe. We have even cooled the room you were in before to adjust it to the temperature of the ice tub it is in now.” a smile forms on the lips of the engram in front of her.

“We don’t want to lose you so quickly. Besides that, we will take good care of it. Your body will be supplied, with everything it needs to survive, while you can work here in peace.” Abernathy explains.  
“What better way to create memories than a cyberspace, in which you can literally test them, and see them already in action? After that we will simply have to extract them to then inject them into our subjects.” She walks over to Judy and a desk and computer form out of nothing, they are a perfect replica of her usual workspace.

“So that’s your big plan? Trapping me in cyberspace?” Judy asks and laughs slightly.  
“I’ve already told you and I’ll tell you again … I won’t work for you and within here you can’t even hurt me.”

The engram pops an eyebrow and suddenly Judy start feeling as though she can’t breathe. The air is like ash. The next thing she notices are her legs it hurts to even stand on them and she drops to the floor. Then her arm is getting twisted, as if someone would pull it behind her back. She starts screaming.

“You see …” Abernathy starts to explain. “Your brain is completely under our control and while you won’t sense any pain, we physically inflict on your body … we can simply stimulate certain areas of your brain and … zap...” She snaps her fingers. “…you’ll feel pain.”

By now Judy is twisting herself on the floor in pain. It is unbearable, just as one area, that pains her seems to hurt less or maybe she just manages to get used to it, another one starts hurting even worse and in a different way.

‘It’s only an illusion … only an illusion, none of this is actually happening.’ She desperately tries to tell herself.

“Telling yourself that the pain you feel isn’t real won’t help. That is not what our brains are made to believe. It won’t hurt any less.” The engram states.  
“You can, however, just agree to work for us … then it will all be over…” she continues.

Judy starts sweating, no she doesn’t want to work for them. She wouldn’t do it.  
Her will is strong, but after a few more minutes, she can’t take it anymore. It’s simply too much.

“I’ll do it! Okay … I’ll do it! Just stop this!” she shouts, her voice by now is hoarse from her screaming and crying.

“I am glad you have come to see our way. Now it’s time to create some memories together … and please try to stick to the schedule. We don’t have much time, but since you won’t need sleep in here … it should be rather easily accomplished. Let’s hope your brain is up for the challenge and won’t collapse.” Having said that, the engram of Abernathy disappears.

Judy is left alone, only thinking about one thing.

‘Where are you V? Please hurry …’

Luckily, the malfunction had passed rather quickly and by now V feels normal again. She leans against Panam’s car, waiting for the Aldecalcos to arrive, while wiping some of the blood off her hand. A bit has already dried, though.

Arasaka special ops. She knows who runs that. Abernathy. The woman, who she had been assigned to flatline, by Jenkins. The woman who had been a step ahead and almost killed V, had it not been for Jackie… She forced her to lose her job and start all over again.

But all this seems like a minor point now … it doesn’t matter. V had long accepted her new life and to be honest, she is more than fine, no longer living as the corpo-rat she once was.  
But now … now she has a reason to come for Abernathy. She knows how ruthless the Arasaka woman could be and she wouldn’t let Judy be on the back end of that. At least not for much longer.

Panam arrives clearly wearing an unhappy expression. “What do you think you are doing? Did you really just go straight in there?” she asks angrily, but also slightly irritated.  
“God knows what could have waited for you in that backroom! What the hell is wrong with you? You are acting different. The way you punched that man, how you kicked the injured bastard’s wound … What the hell? I thought you were the one not keen on using unnecessary violence?” Panam scolds.

V rolls with her eyes. She really doesn’t want to have that argument right now.  
“Well times change …” the blue haired simply says and walks over to the passenger seat.

“Times change my ass!” Panam says stomping after her, she then spots the dry blood on V’s hand and grabs it.  
“What’s this?” she asks.

V hasn’t slept for hours, but not only that … her body has been on edge ever since she found out Judy got kidnapped. And now this argument … it was only a matter of time until she would snap.  
She harshly pushes Panam’s hand off of her’s and hisses. “Don’t fucking touch me!” her eyes gleam and her pent-up frustration is mirrored in them.

The Aldecalcos takes a step back. She had already noticed that this wasn’t just another job. V has been acting totally different, and this was proof of it. Usually V was much more nonchalant, calm … she would even crack jokes in the worst looking situations.  
However, she wouldn’t just let this slide. To her it feels like V is acting very self-destructive, something she herself had done quite often too.

“What? You expect me to just follow you in the middle of the night, on some random gig, without knowing what’s going on?” Panam asks. She pauses a bit and get’s closer to V again.  
“Fuck I’d even do it. But not if you are losing yourself in the process.”  
At first the merc wants to fight with the nomad. Afterall she is still herself and not Johnny yet. What does Panam, even know about losing oneself? The anger rises to the top and just as she wants to make her point, she stops.  
She has spotted the compassion and sympathy in the other woman’s eyes. Panam isn’t here to fight … she’s here to help and she has already done that. She even came to help in the middle of the night without asking a question.

“I-I …” V stutter not finding the right words. In all honesty she doesn’t know what to say. She’s beyond exhausted at this point and worried … more than anything worried.  
Panam steps forward and lays her hand on V’s shoulder.  
“This Judy … she means a lot to you …” she figures.  
V nods and looks down, before raising her head and looking back at the nomad. This time the raw emotions are displayed on her face.

“I … I can’t lose her Panam … not her.” The merc swallows and turns around, causing the hand on her shoulder to slip away. She leans forward, supporting herself with her hands on the hood of Panam’s car.  
“This City has taken everything from me … but I-I … it just can’t take her from me.” She once again feels a hand on her shoulder, as the Aldecalcos woman has stepped next to her. This time, however, her whole arm is wrapped around V.

“I understand … and you won’t lose her. But you can’t afford to be reckless now. We will find her …” she promises. “But you need to make sure that it is still V that finds her and not someone she might not recognize anymore.”

The nomad is still worried, but she knows they’d have to hurry. If someone is that important to V, they had to find her. The blue-haired woman had done so much for her … and for her clan … This is the least she can do to pay it back.

“I know it might be hard, but try to shut your eyes in the backseat … You seem exhausted.” The Aldecalcos get’s in the driver’s seat. She notices the indecisive look on her friends face and adds.  
“It will take at least 30 minutes to get there, that won’t change whether you’re awake or not.”

V finally nods and does as suggested. The anger and self-hatred, caused by her last fight with Judy are still present within her, of course they are, but for the moment she can suppress them.  
As she lays down in the back of the car, the only thing she hears is the soft humming of the engine. She thinks about what Panam had said about not losing herself and suddenly V recalls a conversation from earlier.

_  
“V … this is you …” she now cups her other cheek as well and forces the blue-haired woman to look at her.  
“Look at me.” V does as she is told, and Judy continues.  
“I know you … Trust me I do, and I will notice when you are behaving different, when you are turning into someone you aren’t.”  
_

Judy always manages to ground her. Even in the direst situations.

‘I’m on my way Judy … hold out just a bit longer.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To those who celebrate it ... Merry Christmas!  
> To those who don't ... Happy Holidays!  
> To those who have to work ... I'm sorry ... but I hope you'll be happy too!


	5. Life or death

V didn’t manage to sleep. Not really that is. Sure, she had closed her eyes and maybe, even managed to slumber slightly, but that could hardly ever be counted as real sleep.   
However, it has still helped, maybe not in regard to her tiredness, but at least her mind had managed to rest and calm for a while.

Of course, only partially and the merc is sure, that she won’t be able to fully rest until she knows Judy is safe. There is just no way she could ever be at peace with herself, while the BD artist is in imminent danger.

By now they had been spying on the old factory for 10 minutes. At first V has been against the idea, of spending even more time, without coming closer to Judy, but eventually Panam had managed to convince her that they would have to prepare better this time. This wasn’t just some Tyger Claw bar after all. These were Arasaka … a whole different beast. 

Finally, the Aldecalcos puts her binoculars down and turns to her friend.  
“You better call your ripperdoc friend now. We will need his help.” She states. V nods and follows suit.

It doesn’t take long for Vik to pick up and for his little picture to show up in the top left of V’s and Panam’s vision. “So, you’ve arrived, huh?” he asks, standing up. It seems like he is taking this just as serious as the other two and doesn’t want to miss anything by remaining in a lazy position.

“Yeah, we’ve checked it out. Sending you the data, right now.” It takes only a few seconds and Vik can see what they’ve observed in front of his own eyes.  
After V is sure Viktor can see it all she starts talking through what they’ve figured out.   
“We definitely have the, right address. This isn’t a normal factory, way too much activity, also meaning too many guards and security cams. No company would be this worried about some factory or its workers.”  
She pauses and zooms in on the backside of the site. A white van can be seen in the parking area. “This is also, most likely, the white van the Tyger Claw in the bar had mentioned. Although ‘a white van’ is pretty vague, since there are probably thousands of those in Night City…”

“at the very least thousands …” Panam comments, but after seeing the slightly discouraged look on the blue-haired’s face she wishes she could take her words back. It truly is a new situation for her to treat V with kid gloves.

That she would ever see a woman like her this vulnerable. By now she has gotten a grasp on how important Judy must be to her and she must still be pretty tired. While the 30 minutes had helped a bit, it still wasn’t nearly enough.  
But even with all that in mind … it feels wrong … strange to see the merc like this. It’s a whole different side to her, one that probably not many people get to see, Panam assumes. V had never been the woman to open up easily. To her it had always seemed like she was a pragmatic person and not much of a thinker, but maybe she just keeps her thoughts to herself.

The Aldecalcos is glad when Vik changes the topic. “Do you already have a plan to get inside?” he asks stroking over his chin thoughtfully.  
“Well … sort off …” Panam answers. “See, there’s this crazy number of cables, that we’ve found while scanning the area. They go underground. To keep them in check, there will probably be a small maintenance shaft. We aren’t sure how well that’s guarded, but it’s most likely our best shot.” She points out the area on their shared map.

Vik nods affirmative, seemingly agreeing with their thought process.  
“Any idea, what these cables are for?” V asks. It had already struck her as odd, that the Arasaka special ops is located in some abandoned factory in the middle of nowhere. There is something else behind this … she just isn’t sure what yet. Whatever it is … she has a bad feeling about it … a very bad feeling.

Vik pauses for a while, admiring the scans more carefully. “It isn’t really odd. Most factories that work with high tech, need these to gain enough power for it to work. It also saves them, in case, netrunners blast the local power grid, since these cables make them independent from it … but …” The ripperdoc again strokes his chin.  
“There is something strange … the amount of them. This is crazy ... what are they trying to power in there? This is something maybe needed for space operations, but not for some shitty factory …” he explains.   
V squints her eyes, something is indeed very wrong. ‘Please let Judy be fine …’ she prays.

Panam decides to try and play the optimist. She shrugs with her shoulders and comments. “Maybe they just accidentally ordered too many, back when the factory was being used. Not like that never happened. Then they just kept them there.”

V doesn’t seem convince, but there was no time for this. Especially since they wouldn’t get any further with it anyways. Once inside Panam and V would see it with their own eyes.  
“Alright … Vik … please try to hold contact with us. There could be a lot of tech stuff in there and we might need your help.” The merc instructs. “After reaching the factory through the tunnel our first goal will be to reach the server room and get rid of any signal jammers. From there on we should also figure out where they are keeping Judy.”

While rehearsing the plan she starts to load both of her pistols, as well as an additional machine pistol she took from one of the Tyger Claws back in the bar.  
“We’ll try to be quiet, but … incase something goes to shit we need to be ready to bail.” Panam nods in response to that.   
“However, …” V adds. “We are not leaving without Judy, at least not me.” 

She debates if she should also mention that she knows Abernathy from her past life, as a corpo and suspects her to be the leader of that operation but decides to keep her mouth shut. Sometimes, not knowing everything can be a blessing and she needs Panam to be confident, since her own is rapidly lowering, with every second she is away from Judy.

The nomad nods and puts her sniper on her back, following V who has started walking towards the outer area of the factory, looking for an entry into the maintenance tunnel. She can feel the tensity and nervousness from the merc effecting herself by now.  
This isn’t a simple gig or some mission. For V this is life or death and somehow, maybe because she had been through so much with the other woman … it also feels like life or death to her.

Judy is sitting at her virtual desk working. It’s scary how easy it is for her to build these memories. How easy it is for her to forget, that she is actually in a cyberspace and building these for Arasaka to brainwash people.  
If she wouldn’t be careful, she could almost feel at home here.

But no. Judy can’t even think about that. V is probably already searching her all over the city. If she has returned after their fight, that is. Maybe she had also decided to just give her time and space. No … she knows her … V is headstrong and stubborn, maybe a little too stubborn sometimes.  
She would almost bet that V had returned to check on her. Even if it had only been to prove her point and somehow win the argument they’ve had.

The argument … it seems so far away. So stupid … however the BD-artist knows it wasn’t and never will be. It is about V’s life and that’s her highest priority and she would let herself get captured a hundred times if it would prevent the merc from committing … 

The pictures of Evelyn again come to mind. By now she almost has accepted that they would haunt her, for a while longer. Sometimes she would wake up in horror after having relived that day. After having just seen Evelyn again … in that bathtub.

Luckily, most of the times V had been there lying next to her. She would always calm her, and nothing would make her forget faster than being held by V. Even if she wasn’t there … she could call her. No matter where she was or what gig she was currently doing. She would talk to her and come over.

Imagining this woman … the one most precious to her ... in Evelyn’s position … Judy can’t even think about it. It’s too horrifying but on the other hand, somehow the thought still doesn’t let go off her.  
But enough of this. She must focus. And while the argument and the fight she had with V is important, she at first needs to survive this to even worry about her. One thing at a time, just like programming.

Of course, the young BD artist had already tried to somehow get out of the cyberspace, but without any results. It seems her body is completely out of her control. But she has to do something. Judy isn’t just some girl, that waits for her love to find and save her. Besides that, … in a way Araska has placed her in the perfect position she needs.  
Because, even if she might be trapped inside a cyberspace, these circumstances can also benefit her. Should their network defense be lacking, she at least indirectly, could manage to hack into their systems.

However, she has to be careful to not raise any suspicion. The torturing through her nerves had shown her that they aren’t just playing and while Judy would do everything to get out of the cyberspace, another one of those torture sessions, through her nervous system seems like something she’d much rather avoid.

The biggest problem she’s facing is, that she doesn’t exactly know how well she is being supervised. She assumes, that they can’t actually track her thoughs, since if they did, they probably would have done something about all this, by now. Which means they are at least not actively brainwashing her.

She still suspects that they have some sort of form, with which they supervise her though. But this is Judy’s element … hell even the desk is the same. She could use all her experience in programming to her advantage here.

It doesn’t take long until she starts coding the memories, however this is only a decryption and the real program, the virus she wants to use, is hidden within it.   
The only problematic thing will be to still write a memory that is coherent, so that Araska doesn’t notice her plan.  
But she isn’t just some BD-artist, she takes pride in her work and while all of this lacked the, whole artistic part … she is up for the challenge and starts to write the code. Soon she would make sure Arasaka’s whole network would pay for letting her get this close to its center.

The maintenance tunnel wasn’t much to look at. Just the long grey passage, one would expect. It had been quite easy to get in. Only three guards and one surveillance camera were there to protect it.  
A simple job for Panam and V. They took down two guards, before the third noticed anything and V hacked the camera. Taking care of the last guard was just as easy and after a bit of breaching she managed to open the door to the maintenance tunnel.

“It will take us a bit till we reach the factory, we’ve made more than sure to stay outside their vision range…” Panam states, walking right behind V.  
The merc simply nods, not really feeling too keen on answering right now.  
“… this would be the perfect time to tell me what’s really going on.” The Aldecalcos suggests.

V looks over her shoulder confused, but quickly notices that putting up a façade won’t be of any use.

“What? You thought I wouldn’t notice? That I’d just let you walk around, letting you cough blood into your hands?” she asks, seemingly not being too worried that some maintenance worker passing by could hear them.

“Well … at least I didn’t think we’d have this talk in a random maintenance tunnel on our way to an Arasaka Special Ops headquarter.” She replies nonchalantly. V knew that Panam would eventually notice something is wrong. The nomad isn’t stupid after all.  
In fact, V considers her to be quite sharp minded, maybe sometimes overruled by her eagerness and hot headedness. But who doesn’t have any flaws?

“Ha … You are right on that one sister …” the dark-haired answers. It makes her quite happy that the merc seemingly hasn’t lost all of her humor. “Better place than any to tell me” she presses on.

V stops and turns towards Panam. “Look … it’s really complicated … I promise I’ll tell you after … after all this…”

Panam nods. “Sure, but just …” she pauses “…tell me it’s nothing too bad …”

"hmmm" the young merc hums and turns away continuing to walk, towards the factory. “Could be worse …” is the simple answer she gives. The nomad is seemingly satisfied and doesn’t poke any deeper into the topic. 

Just as V is about to focus on the task ahead again, Johnny appears in front of her, leaning against the wall of the tunnel.  
“Could be worse, huh? Guess that’s the first compliment you’ve given me…” V rolls with her eyes.

“There’s always a first, now don’t get too satisfied with yourself. I have to focus on this now or did you forget that if I die here your whole revenge plot against Arasaka also won’t work.” A small smile forms on the blue-haired’s lips.

“I’ve survived dying once …” Johnny replies.

“so, have I …” V adds.

Johnny grins and lets out a small snort. “Then we should have nothing to worry about.”

It had felt like an eternity to V until they’ve reached the end of the tunnel, but on the other hand they haven’t had any problems along the way. No guards, no security cams, nothing. Arasaka must put a lot trust in their entrance security.   
Maybe a bit too much trust.

At the end of the maintenance tunnel there has been a small door. They’ve quickly used one of the keycards from the previous security members to get in.  
On the other side, almost everything is white. Similar to a hospital or some sort, just … even shinier and cleaner. In a way it almost hurts in one’s eyes. A complete contrast to the shady and old looking factory on the outside.

V quickly points at the cables within the ceiling, she had just scanned, instructing Panam to follow them. The dark-haired woman nods, seemingly understanding that, they would most likely end up in the server room in one form or another, by following them.

After a while the cables, however split in two different directions.  
“Fuck … and now?” Panam asks impatient. Not without reason since they are literally just standing in the middle of the hallway. If anybody were to walk in on them, they’d surely be caught.

“There’s only one way …” V replies looking at the cables again. It seems like there were slightly more cables going to the left than to the right. Somehow, she feels confirmed in her suspicion, that these weren’t just unused ones. Something else is behind this.

“No there are two and that’s our problem.” Panam hisses. “I know what you’re thinking, but splitting up is the worst thing we could do … This isn’t just some factory. This is a whole Arasaka base. You don’t just split up here and assume everything will go perfect.”   
Panam cautiously looks around and listens in if she hears footsteps. Luckily, everything is quiet.  
“These people will fuck us up and if one of us is caught, the other won’t stay hidden much lo-“she can’t finish her sentence.

“It’s the only way to find Judy. You go right … I’ll go left. Whoever finds the server room has to disable their jamming system. That’s the highest priority, we need to be able to communicate.” V instructs.   
She knows they don’t have much time and need to use that as effective as possible. Especially since they are still hidden.

Without giving the nomad another chance to argue, she simply continues walking into the left direction, not looking back. The Aldecalcos doesn’t follow her.

After about 10 minutes V has reached the part of the base, that is much more difficult to move around. More and more personal and guards are walking around in this section.  
So far, she however managed to pass most of them quietly. By her assessment she is probably now in more of a main area. Still no sign of a server room though. Through her scans, she can see that more and more cables merging, though.  
Wherever it is they are leading … it has to be close.

The cables move downstairs and so V follows. She is sure, that the security cams by now must have picked up some motion of hers. Probably not enough for someone, who watches them to catch, but still … if someone would watch them closely, they could know she is here.   
Hopefully, it’s looking better on Panam’s side.

When she arrives downstairs, the lights finally get darker, so far that the rooms are only dimly lit. A welcome relaxation for her eyes, however, this also means it’s far more difficult to spot enemies.  
After entering another room, she sees pods or capsules on the side. They are filled up with ice and some strange looking liquid. At first, she just thought it’s water, but … it is not … too oily and too dark …

She still hasn’t decided, weather she prefers the bright, sterile looking part of the factory or the creepy, dark one.  
As she continues on, she enters a large room, with at least 12 of the pods. 6 to the left and 6 to the right. When she walks deeper inside, she accidently hits her foot against one.

“Fuck!” she hisses silently. The capsule isn’t cold though it must be very well isolated. As she takes a closer look her heart almost drops.   
Inside of the capsule lies a man and in contradiction to the previous one … this one is connected to a ton of cables from the ceiling, just as all the other ones in the room.  
Is the man dead? Alive? She can’t tell. 

Then Johnny appears sitting on top of another tub.  
“Nine of them are filled with people.” He states looking down onto the one he’s sitting on. “What sick fuck comes up with this shit?”

“No idea …” V answers and her hand starts to tremble slightly. "If this is what they do to people here …" before Johnny can say another word, she quickly rushes around to see if Judy is in any of the capsules.

“Don’t you think I would have fucking told you, by now?” Johnny scolds annoyed.

“Fuck where is she Johnny?” V asks in response, her voice slightly scratchy. Her hand is still trembling, as she begins to panic. She doesn’t even know if she should be afraid or happy, that Judy isn’t in one of those? Fuck … did she take too long? Is she too late?

“Calm down …” Johnny tells her and gets up from the tub he’s sitting on.

However, that doesn’t help. Next V’s other hand begins to tremble as well and her breathing get’s unstable and irregular. A familiar red malfunctioning message pops up in front of her eyes.  
“Fuuuuck … Not now!” The merc tells herself and holds onto the wall for support.

Johnny hurries over and squats down, in front of her, so that he can look into her eyes. He doesn’t even try to hold onto her anymore. By now he knows, that’s not how he can interact with her.  
“God dammit V … Get it together!” he commands as he helplessly watches, how V’s condition worsens.

This surely is a harsher attack than the one at the bar. She knows what’s about to come next. Her vision starts to blur and her breathing get’s harsher. The blue haired, looks at Johnny, but can’t understand the words he is saying.

V tries to read his lips, as her body becomes weaker and weaker. She can barely hold herself upright. ‘Pills’ is what she reads. Then she collapses onto the ground coughing.  
She can’t blackout … not here. There was no way, she wouldn’t get caught, so she grabs into her pocket and pulls out one of the red pills. 

V knows she has promised Judy to not use them, but at the moment … Johnny is her only chance, even if it will … speed things up. But, right now, it’s also Judy who’s the priority.

As she tries to swallow the pill, though she becomes weaker and weaker and then everything fades to black, and she loses consciousness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well ... this isn't looking too good ... Also I'll simply overshadow the inner 'conflict' you must be feeling towards me after leaving you with such a cliffhanger (sorry I'm so bad at ending my chapters).
> 
> So yeah ... we won't talk about it ... instead ... hmm let's talk about myself. I made myself a fancy new year resolution and thought: 'hey, why not start already instead of waiting the last days?'  
> ... Long story short I'm trying to learn how to shuffle (I KNOW SOME MAKE NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS THAT ARE BIGGER THAN THIS, BUT AT LEAST I'M MAKING RESOLUTIONS NOW ... sooooooo progress?).  
> Also ... my legs hurt and I feel like I am the most uncoordinated person on the planet. I can count myself lucky, that I can breathe and walk at the same time. So yeah ... I'm still going, but somehow I fear that my New Year resolutions will last ... well till the new year, but who knows?
> 
> Did that make you feel better, did you forget about the ending? No? ... Well ... that sucks.  
> Anyways ... Sorry, that this chapter took so long ... However, I am confident that the next will be out sooner and ... it should be very spicy...
> 
> I love all of you and promise to read all of your comments. It might take a day or two for me to reply, but I will reply. It really warms my heart, seeing you all this invested into the story (I know I said it already, but I'll do it again!).  
> Much love and a happy new year to all of you (should you celebrate it)!
> 
> Once again the situation might suck, but try to have some fun. This year was shitty and I think it's fine to let some steam off, once in a while. Just ... don't drink too much and don't do something too stupid. Stupid things are okay ... just not ... too stupid. On the other hand I can always recommend watching Netflix/reading fanfictions alone and crying about how cute your favorite couple is, while eating chocolate and cuddling with a blanket.
> 
> I just realized, how much I wrote and ... I need to stop. I should spend this time writing the story, not some end note nobody wants to read.
> 
> Sooooo ... I'll see you guys on the next episode of "A ghost in the City of Night"!


	6. Green

Ice,

Cool,

Cold,

Everything is cold, so fucking cold. 

V shoots up, breathing for air and adrenaline pushing through every vein in her body. Seconds later she hits her head against something with full force.   
It’s glass.

She quickly realizes that she is in one of the pods, even if she can’t think straight at all. Everything is so fucking ice cold. V desperately tries to find a way to open the thing. When she finally does, she get’s up and stumbles out of it, immediately collapsing to the ground again. Breathing deeply in shock.

“Well well well … look who enjoyed her bath …” her eyes shoot up and meet …

Johnny, it’s fucking Johnny and to be real, she has never been happier to see him. A smile forms on her lips and he just smirks back. “Wha?...”

“Simple …” he interrupts, not wanting to force V into talking more than she has to.   
“You somehow managed to bite off a small part of that pill and swallowed it, so then I took over. Unfortunately, you were … hard to maneuver, probably since you only took a quarter of the pill.” He explains.  
“Heard two people coming, so I thought ‘where to dump a person who hasn’t made up her mind if she is alive or dead?’” He smirks and puts on a victory cigarette.  
“Luckily, I was in the perfect room for just that…”

V smiles, as she slowly calms down. Everything is still fucking ice cold and she starts feeling that more and more, as her adrenaline gets lower.  
“So, you just dumped me into one of those pods?” She asks astounded.   
He nods. “Don’t worry … I pulled the cables out, before. Was fucking ice cold when we got in.”

“You tell me …” V responds laying her head back against the wall. “And they didn’t notice?” she asks in confirmation.  
“Not unless they heard you waking up…” he responds.  
The blue-haired breathes out in relief. That was far too close for comfort. As, she looks at Johnny she notices that he must have swallowed the blue pill, right after the guards came in. She must have actually been unconscious in that thing for quite a while…

Her condition is getting worse…  
The moment, she managed to stand up suddenly she get’s a call. It’s Panam! The jammer must be down.

How stubborn can a woman be? Panam has always thought of herself as a stubborn one, which most likely is somewhat justified, but this version of V?  
Sure, V had always been very hard to hold back, once she’s set her mind on something, but this is a completely new level.   
‘You go right … I’ll go left. Whoever finds the server room has to disable their jamming system. That’s the highest priority, we need to be able to communicate.’ She replays the words from V in her mind, mockingly. This girl had some nerves …

The Aldecalcos continues down the corridor to the right. It had been quite a while, since she and V split up and still no server room in sight. What a great idea … to just walk into the Arasaka Special Ops HQ. Why not just walk through the front door?

Panam stops as she spots a room in front of her. All cables lead there. After quickly moving over to the door, she peaks through the small glass window incorporated into it. Nothing.  
Seriously, where are all those guys? Sure, she had already dodged a few, but it still seems like way too few for some Arasaka headquater. Hopefully, that doesn’t mean they are all with V. This time she would not be able to save her with her rifle.

Just as she is about to enter, she spots something in the corner of her eye. Two people stand within the room. They are barely visible from the door, but in the far corner there are two Arasaka’s seemingly working on some computer or control panel.  
After taking a deep breath Panam opens the door. Moving quietly is something she has been taught … basically since she was born. Although she prefers natural ground, she long has accustomed herself to various types of floors. At least after she had lived in the city.  
As she gets closer, she overhears their conversation.

“Can’t you see that? It’s completely strange … all of the graphs are looking weird … That surely isn’t normal?” one of the workers, who stays a few feet further back from the computer asks the other.  
He is much younger than the other and has black, medium long hair. It is quite messy and covers most of his forehead. However, his worried expression is still quite clear.  
The other one seemingly checking the screen, takes his time to reply and at first checks out everything on the screen. He is older, with brown hair with some strains already going into a light grey or white. Both of them are Asian, which isn’t strange considering they are working for Arasaka.

“It is a bit strange indeed … but are you sure it’s not normal? I mean … keeping such a huge thing up … I’m sure there will be some interferences. Imagine the shier amount of data. It must be natural and can’t be that troubling … ” Panam hears a few more clicks and decides to get closer.  
Luckily, there is a small desk between them, that serves as a perfect cover.

“Yeah, but sir … I mean … we should inform the director, shouldn’t we?” the other man asks, his voice being less calm than the one of his seemingly superior.  
“Do you know what the director did, the last time she got false information?” he asks back.  
The man further back swallows. “No …”  
“Let’s just say you didn’t get your spot out of luck … and …” he pauses for a bit. “… I’ll tell you … losing his job was the least of his problems …”  
Before a word can be spoken against him, he adds. “… I wouldn’t make the same mistake …”  
The man in the back nods and his superior get’s up from the computer. He grabs his jacket and walks towards the door, passing Panam, but not noticing her. Now the man with the shorter hair get’s back onto the chair.

After the door closes Panam quickly rushes up and before the remaining worker can realize what is happening, he has a knife at his throat.  
“Good evening Mr. …” she glances down at the nameplate on his chest. “… Green. How about you and I have a talk about what you are doing her and … of course … what you were showing your boss, right there?” she points at the screen in front of them.

The man swallows. “I-I won’t tell anything…” he replies but is seemingly nervous. Panam has already noticed, that he is probably very new to his job. He is also quite young. Around 19 she would guess. It shouldn’t be too hard to convince him to help her.  
“Quite loyal, aren’t we?” she asks pressing the blade further against his neck, almost drawing blood.  
“Look … I don’t have much time and need to figure out what’s going on here. You can either help me with that or die for Arasaka. A company that’s simply using you.” She states.  
However, he doesn’t give in that quick. 

“Oh, and what will happen to me, when I’m done telling you? You think my bosses will just give me a heads up and wish me better luck next time?”  
“I’d say whatever they are doing is probably better than ending up dead.” Panam comments. “Now go ahead!”  
“I’m not so sure about that, besides … if you kill me security will quickly pick up that something is off. So, I’d say we are in a stalemate.” He explains and seems to relax a little.

He’s smart Panam notices. No wonder he’s got this job.  
“So what? You think you’ll get out of this alive if you hand me over?” She asks. “They will question you too, you know. Just to be sure …” she takes her knife away from his throat and he immediately tries to ring the alarm, but stops as he hears Panam continuing.  
“… You are replaceable to Arasaka. And besides … even if you ring the alarm now I’ve still got a few minutes with you.” She sits down on the desk next to the computer in front of the young Arasaka employee.

“I’m an Aldacalcos and one of my people depends on me right now. So, if you don’t have a better idea I’m more than fine testing which of us will stay loyal to their people for longer. Meaning you in the few minutes with me after you pressed the alarm or me when Arasaka captures me.” Having said that, she spins her knife and looks at the alarm.  
“Go ahead press it…” she dares.

When he finally puts his hand away from the button Panam is relieved. Of course, she shows nothing of that on her face, but to be honest with herself, she hadn’t looked forward to getting captured by Arasaka. Neither to punching the shit out of the young boy, but that was only a nice side effect in comparison.

“Alright I’ll help … but you have to get me out of here.” He says and Panam raises her eyebrows in response.  
“Bad career choice?” she asks in response and already points at the computer, clearly instructing him to get on it.  
He follows her gesture and simply answers. “Something like that … What do you need?”

Panam gets next to him and looks at the screen. “Disable the communication jammer.” She instructs and he simply looks at her confused.   
“Are others from your clan on their way?”  
“Do you need to know that to disable them?” she asks sharply in return.   
A short while later Green has hacked from the server room into the com jammer. It had an extra firewall, which is why it all took a bit longer.

“Alright … I’ll just have to upload this, and it will overwrite the jamming protocol.” He explains.  
Panam looks at the screen and sees the percentage of the upload slowly going up. “… While we are at it. Tell me what you are doing here. A bit much tech isn’t it? Even for an Arasaka HQ” she says idly twirling her knife.

The young Arasaka employee looks at her unsure, but then seemingly decides that he is already in on helping her.   
“I also don’t know much, but what I know is that they are researching cyberspace in here.”  
“Cyberspace?” Panam asks in return. “That isn’t too special, though? Even if complex it doesn’t require that much tech.”

“You don’t understand … this isn’t just some research … this is different. It is more advanced. I don’t know what they are doing with it, but with it they could … they could …” he seems to search for the right words, not knowing how to explain something this vast.  
“Yes?” Panam asks.  
“They could transfer data out of the cyberspace and model things after it. That would be my guess, why they need so much tech.” he guesses.

The Aldacalcos doesn’t really get what this is about. A bit of harmless data transfer doesn’t seem problematic.  
Before she can ask, however the upload is complete. She immediately opens her com link to contact V.

“V? You there? Answer…” at first she doesn’t get an answer, so she tries again. “V? Hello?”

A few moments of silence late, she gets an answer.  
“You did it …” Even through the com link she can clearly hear that something’s wrong with V. She sounds exhausted and her voice is rougher than usual.  
“You okay, there?” she asks concerned.  
“Just a few minor complications … You found Judy?” V asks still just as eager to know where she is.

Panam sighs. Even if she should be happy that V didn’t get caught, she is a bit disappointed she hasn’t found Judy yet. Also, the condition her partner is in, is more than concerning. Just as she is about to answer, suddenly everything gets dark. All lights around her shut down, as well as all machines.

“Green!” she shouts angry, he must have betrayed her. However, she then hears his voice from behind her, he seemingly hasn’t moved.  
“Hey! This … this wasn’t me … I-I have no idea …” instead of continuing his explanation he stops as the lights turn back on.

“V? V can you hear me?” Panam immediately asks, slightly in panic.  
“Yes … I guess we weren’t the only section that lost power?” the merc answers.  
“Not exactly…” Panam answers, still eying the young Arasaka employee, suspiciously.  
“I don’t like this … but we’ll have to find Judy …” V instructs. “… And we better be quick about it…” 

‘If she’s still here or alive …’ Panam thinks to herself. She didn’t like any of this either. This whole place creeps her out. Fighting in the open outside the City is one thing but being stuck and hiding in some weird Arasaka headquarter … that is different.

“Green, check what just happened …” she commands, not wanting to waste more precious time.  
He simply nods and gets onto the computer again. Afterall he also wants to find out what exactly caused the blackout. Usually, a facility like this is more than prepared and defended against any attacks from the outside.

Meanwhile a voice mixed out of anger and nervousness comes through the Aldacalcos com link. “Panam, who are you talking to?”  
She knows V wouldn’t be happy about all this. She has been on edge throughout the whole mission. And way too stressed, the usual coolness V has and that helps her within, even the most dangerous situations is lacking. So Panam decides it’s best to not bother her with things she can’t influence.

“Doesn’t matter … I’ll explain, when we are out.” She responds, feeling lucky that she doesn’t have to see V’s surely annoyed face, while talking to her.  
“What matters is … V w- … I found out what Arasaka is doing here.” She pauses and looks at her newfound companion again, as he runs a diagnose program.  
“They are trying to extract data from cyberspace. I’m not sure what for, but … It seems to be large amounts of data.” Panam’s voice sounds much more agitated than before. Not, because she's particularly worried about the data transfer, more because she still has no clear picture of what is going on and that blackout didn't make her feel any safer.  
“Any idea what they need Judy for?”

V on the other end of the com, by now has gotten to her feet. She still feels slightly cold, but her temperature has mostly normalized. She truly is lucky, that she didn’t stay any longer within the tube.  
As she hears what Panam has to say though, her head starts to spin slightly. At first she thinks it’s another chip malfunction, but nothing shows up. Instead, she puts two and two together, using the information she has just received.

They are trying to extract something from cyberspace, something containing a lot of data … and they need Judy. A braindance specialist …

Her eyes roam over to the cool tube, she had just been in. They had already reminded her of when she went into cyberspace, even if they are different. Then it hits her...

All those people within the tubes. Their purpose is to go into cyberspace and create memories. Memories that then can be extracted … and who would be better for this job than a braindance artist?

Judy fits perfectly, not a large profile, yet known for her skills. No ties to any other company and nobody to protect her.   
Nobody would miss some simple punk like her …   
Nobody but V …

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey you guys,  
> I know it's been quite some time ... 17 days to be precise. I'm sorry that I'm updating this late, especially for all of you who have been waiting so patiently for a new chapter.
> 
> To keep it short ... my new year hasn't exactly started great. There was a lot of university stuff I had to take care off, after the Christmas break and there have been a few personal things that added to that.  
> Long story short I got pretty down. To understand this ... I am quite a moody person, so when a few bad things happen I tend to spiral down quite quickly, same also goes for good things that happen though.
> 
> You may have also noticed that this chapter isn't as long as the ones before. Initially I intended to make this a bigger chapter, to kinda make up for the long wait time, but well ... I just don't want to keep you waiting any longer.
> 
> I hope you are all still interested in Cyberpunk (afterall the hype around the game has died down quite a bit now) and that you still decide to keep reading it. I also hope this chapter isn't lacking compared to the previous ones. Like I said ... I've had a rough time and didn't really manage to write this in one go, so it might seem a bit splintered.
> 
> All in all, I'm sorry it took so long, but I really couldn't do much about that. What I, however, should have done is answer your comments. I still haven't done that and want to apologize. I just didn't have the time to go on ao3 and when I had it I decided to mostly write on the story or watch some Netflix to get my mind off of things.
> 
> Oh, and before you ask. Its getting better! This whole note sounds very negative, but well ... I think everyone has those phases in life (the dark days of winter don't help >.<). Right now, everything seems to settle itself, however, soon university crunch time will start. I can't promise anything, but the next chapter should still be coming sooner.
> 
> I love all of you and reading your comments under my previous chapters has helped me a lot during the last weeks. And don't worry I will finish this story and have some cool ideas in mind, just life getting in the way.
> 
> UncreativeSelf <3


End file.
